Working out....

I am amazed how the whole concept of working out has changed to me over the years.  In high school, I worked hard at sports (I wish I would have worked harder) but things came kind of natural to me.  I was never in amazing shape or anything, but I was healthy and looked alright......In college I REALLY pushed myself.  I wanted to be the best, I wanted to finish first, and I wanted to be in the best shape possible.  I took diet and exercise to an unhealthy extreme, but I did feel good about how I performed, how I looked, and how hard I worked.  I worked hard to stay in shape right up to the day I got cut from the USU basketball team.  Then I kind of stopped working out.  I mean, I have worked out here and there over the years, but nothing like I used to.  Working out for me is a very hard thing to do just because.  I need a reason, a motivation, a driving force.  I loved working out knowing it would help me in college basketball, but now it is harder.  And I actually still love the feeling of working out, playing sports, and sweating.  I just find the motivation to do it comes very slowly......Also, I complain about how I look.  I complain about how I feel.  I complain about what having an almost 11 pound baby inside me has done to my body.  Trust me, my body will NEVER be the same.  Sad, nasty, saggy skin and stretch marks!  (Sorry for the overshare!)  I know I can help it a little thought, but I really haven't done much about it.  I have lost the baby weight so slowly, and hae only now finally reached pre-pregnancy weight with Jack.  The bad thing is that I weighed too much when I got pregnant with Jack because of a miscarriage and a bit of depression that followed that.  I have tried to watch what I eat lately and it has paid off.  I have lost about 10 pounds since February.  But I am still not where I need to be.  I am documenting my goals and why I want to reach them here and now, so that I have witnesses, perhaps people to check up on me (if anyone actually reads this blog), and something to be accountable to. The goals:   By the first week of June I want to have lost at least 7 more pounds.  I want my stomach to be flatter and my arms and legs to be more toned.  I want ALL of my clothes to fit a little better. Here is why:  1) I just want to look and feel better about myself.  2) I want to prove to myself that I can still work out and push myself like I used to 3) I don't want my older, skinnier, tiny, work-out- aholic sister to judge me this summer when I see her.  I want her to be impressed by how I look.  I want her to notice that I have been working to improve my body.  I know this isn't a good reason, but as I worked out today, that is the thought that pushed me to work harder.  Here is how I am going to do it:  I am going to keep a food journal and keep track of what I eat with the Weight Watchers points.  I will also include in this journal what I do to work out that day.  I am going to walk, run, do elliptical, lift free weights, and do pushups and sit-ups every night.  Hopefully, by this summer I am in shape and feel good about how I look.....just in time to start trying to have another baby..... :)  Wish me luck!